The Other Man – Paul Alan Fahey

Buon giorno!

I’m so happy to be back with all of you again. I really loved talking to you last time about Bomber’s Moon and the Lovers and Liars gay historical romance series.


Some News:  I recently discovered Lovers and Liars is a finalist for this year’s Rainbow Awards. I was very surprised as this was very unexpected. Someone somewhere must like my writing. 🙂 Also I want you to know that you can access FREE a very short story, “Words,” in e book format from JMS Books. Here’s the link for the free e book.


I hope you’ll let me know what you think of it.

I have a pretty active short blog on Goodreads. If you’re a member, come by and say hi. I post every Tuesday.

Here’s the link for the blog:

TODAY ONLY DEAL!! JMS Books is offering my 2012 Rainbow Award winning e book, The View from 16 Podwale Street—a lesbian historical romance—at 40% off.


Hope you’ll enjoy this WWII romance set in Warsaw, Poland, just before the German invasion.

Okay, let’s start.

This time I’ll be talking a little about The Other Man, an anthology of personal essays I edited last year. Some of our best writers are in it. The book was a 2013 Rainbow Award winner for nonfiction.


We’ll also be doing a giveaway of The Other Man e book, so be sure and comment on the post and join the discussion. We’ll be picking a winner or two or maybe even three.

Okay, let’s start the discussion.

I’m really glad to be back with you!!!

Here’s what The Other Man is about: Short Synopsis


He’s an accident waiting to happen: the skateboarder round the bend, the smiling barista with the extra hot mocha, the computer geek eager to retool your mate’s hard drive. He’s a relationship gatecrasher bound by no rules and with no sense of fair play. Like Caesar, he comes, he sees, he conquers and leaves behind something akin to a lingering twenty-four hour flu, or at worst, a really bad case of the Black Death.

On the flip side, we can be the other man, charging in and breaking the bonds of a committed relationship without a thought to the pain and misery we inflict on the injured parties. Face it. We’re not all innocent bystanders in these other-man scenarios.

The Other Man is an artistic collaboration by and about gay men and their relationships. If you’ve ever been the other man, had him invade your life, or if you’re just plain curious about this beguiling, sexy and unpredictable creature, then this anthology of personal essays is for you.

Twenty–one of our most acclaimed authors–many Lambda Award Winners and Finalists, such as Rob Byrnes, Jeff Mann, Tom Mendicino, Erik Orrantia, Felice Picano, and David Pratt, write candidly about either being the other man, suffering the other man or having their relationships tested by infidelity.

What we learn from these gifted authors is we must take heart that it does get better and one day our luck is bound to change. We’ll survive the bumps and detours in our relationships and weather the storms, or we resolve to move on. Hopefully, along the way, we’ll meet someone new and simpatico, maybe even our long awaited soul mate, and life is indeed good again. Or is it?

In The Other Man, prominent gay writers tell their personal stories of what it’s like being the other man, suffering the other man or having their relationships tested by infidelity.

In this short excerpt from “WHAT IF,” Jeffrey Ricker reflects on the summer of 2003, when he asked himself “What if I were a big old slut?”

What follows is a candid, personal and very funny account of how he spent the summer.

Short Excerpt:

“WHAT IF” by Jeffrey Ricker

“Online dating was uncharted territory for me. While I wouldn’t call myself a prude, up to that point I’d never given my friends much of a reason to think otherwise. I only started dating guys in my mid-twenties, never very frequently or for very long. (I told myself I was concentrating on my career. In hindsight I can only ask myself, What career?)

All of my attempts at dating tended to fizzle out around the two-month mark. For the longest time, six weeks seemed like the hurdle I’d never get over. By the time the summer of 2003 came around, I’d say I started making up for lost time.

I can’t say that I was very discerning in my selections that summer. I had only two criteria: Potential dates had to be within a fifteen-minute drive and be reasonably attractive. Both of those requirements were negotiable, though. I don’t know why I thought dating in that state of mind was a good idea, but it didn’t seem to be much of a hindrance. Apparently skinny and depressed were the qualities a lot of people found desirable.

Oh, who am I kidding? These guys didn’t really care about my state of mind—at least, most of them didn’t. Not that I cared much either. I had a feeling I was being foolish, but when your head says, “Are ya nuts?” your libido answers, “Yeah, baby!” and your heart says, “Leave me out of this; I’m on sabbatical.”

Guess which one talks the loudest? The dumbest one, of course. That’s how you end up getting it on with more guys in one summer than you have in your whole life up to that point—which still isn’t all that high of a number.

In hindsight (and maybe because the memory is the first thing to go), few of the guys I met that summer remain particularly memorable.”

* * *  *

There’s another, longer excerpt on the buy links at JMS Books. Don’t miss Rob Byrnes’ equally hilarious excerpt from “A Brief History of the Divorce Party.” 

Buy Links:

E book


Author Website:

Paul’s Good reads blog:

JMS Author Page:



Short Bio:

PAUL ALAN FAHEY writes for JMS Books. He is the author of the Lovers and Liars gay wartime romantic suspense series—a 2014 finalist for a Rainbow Award—and the editor of the 2013 Rainbow Award-winning anthology, The Other Man: 21 Writers Speak Candidly About Sex, Love, Infidelity, &Moving On.

His first LGBT novella, The View From 16 Podwale Street, published by JMS Books, won a 2012 Rainbow Award. Over the years, Paul’s writing has appeared in numerous literary journals such as Byline, Palo Alto Review, Long Story Short, African American Review, The MacGuffin, Thema, Gertrude, Kaleidoscope, and in a variety of fiction and nonfiction anthologies from Carry the Light, Cup of Comfort, My Mom’s My Hero, to Writing on Walls, and Somewhere in Crime.

He lives on the California Central Coast with his husband, Robert Franks, and a gaggle of shelties.


What do you think?

I’m here.



By Erin

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0 comment

  • 3librisoprailcielo

    16 Ottobre 2014 at 16:13

    Hello Paul, how are you?
    You know how much I love your novels. Right now I’m reading ” A Manx Tale” and I am loving it as I loved the first two of the series.
    I read the plot of “The other man” and I can guarantee that as soon as I have time, I will read this one too. I can not let it get away !!
    Francesca Giraudo

    1. mindprinterpaul

      16 Ottobre 2014 at 16:29

      Hey, Francesca, how lovely to see you here today. Thank you so very much for those kind words about A Manx Tale. Glad you are enjoying it. I love coming to Italy and talking to all of you. All my best and hugs for sure your way. 🙂

  • mindprinterpaul

    16 Ottobre 2014 at 16:31

    Hi, Erin, and thank you for letting me be here today and talk to your wonderful readers. Very happy to say, Buongiorno to all of you!

    1. Erin

      16 Ottobre 2014 at 16:37

      Hi, Paul! It’s a pleasure to have you here! Thanks for sharing your stories with my readers <3

  • 3librisoprailcielo

    16 Ottobre 2014 at 16:33

    It would be nice to have you here in Italy for a holiday !! Italy is a beautiful country!

    1. mindprinterpaul

      16 Ottobre 2014 at 16:40

      Boy that sounds great. I’ve been to Italy only once some years ago and loved it. Thanks for the invitation. I may take you up on it. 🙂

  • 3librisoprailcielo

    16 Ottobre 2014 at 16:42

    It’s a promise!

    1. mindprinterpaul

      16 Ottobre 2014 at 16:53

      Great! Going out for a while but I’ll be back. Hope all of you will still hang around. Paul

  • perrybrass

    16 Ottobre 2014 at 17:01

    I was delighted to be a part of “The Other Man.” It was difficult writing what I did—a story about my own vulnerability and the difficulties of love, but I’m happy that it’s in this book. My book “Carnal Sacrament, A Historical Novel of the Future, Set in the Last Quarter of the 21st Century,” is also a Rainbow finalist this year. This is the 2nd edition of “Carnal Sacraments.” I wanted to put it out again with a new cover and new material. The story, about a future with no privacy, when your lifespan will be determined by your job and position in a vast global economic system, and about a forbidden love between two men who go blatantly against the system, has a real place in this time, when Edward Snowden has blown the whistle on how little real private life we have left.

    1. mindprinterpaul

      16 Ottobre 2014 at 19:29

      Hey, Perry, thanks so much for coming by. Your essay in “The Other Man” was terrific, and I was so happy to include it with all the other outstanding essays in the book. Congrats on your Rainbow Award finalist status for “Carnal Sacrament.” Love the theme. Best of luck in December. My best, Paul.

  • 3librisoprailcielo

    16 Ottobre 2014 at 20:34

    Good night everybody. Thank you Erin having Paul here again, and Thank you Paul for your kindness! 😄

    1. mindprinterpaul

      16 Ottobre 2014 at 21:05

      Hi, Erin and Francesca, goodnight to you both. I’ll be here tomorrow, too. And thank you both for being here today. Paul 🙂

  • mindprinterpaul

    17 Ottobre 2014 at 15:26

    Hi, Everyone, it’s Friday here. Open to chat. All comments considered for an e book copy of The Other Man. 🙂

    1. 3librisoprailcielo

      17 Ottobre 2014 at 15:29

      Good Friday to you Paul! 🙂

      1. mindprinterpaul

        17 Ottobre 2014 at 15:37

        Right back at ya, Francesca. 🙂

        1. 3librisoprailcielo

          17 Ottobre 2014 at 20:46

          I just want to say good night to everybody. And a Big hug to Paul. 😊

  • emanuelaplasticduck

    17 Ottobre 2014 at 15:50

    Hello Paul!

    The concept of “the other man” is quite interesting. I am mostly a romance reader and I find that many romance readers find cheating a deal breaker (also if the hero is in a committed relationship and finds his true love somewhere else). I am one of those readers that finds this interesting instead, because if an author is doing their job, I’ll fall hook, line and sinker for it (Lanyon’s best books have this kind of story, but I was so invested in the protagonists that I didn’t care for the cheated person). In real life, I wouldn’t be so cavalier 🙂

    I have bought the book because I loved the excerpt, so don’t consider me for the giveaway. I have a question: did some of the stories you collected surprise you?

    1. mindprinterpaul

      17 Ottobre 2014 at 16:00

      Hi, Emanuela, Thank you for your question. Yes, they did. When you’re in a relationship and either you or your partner are being unfaithful, you never really stop and ask yourself if what’s happening to you has happened to others in quite the same way. I found a lot of commonality in the stories even though they are so very different in terms of how the writer handled the infidelity. I found we all had a lot of common ground, relationship rules that were either unspoken or agreed upon. I’ve been in a relationship, now married, to the same man for 38 years. During that time, there were a few bumps in the road and we were both had our dalliances but we just didn’t talk about them. Is that a good rule to follow? I don’t know. It seems to have worked for us. Maybe not for others.:)

  • mindprinterpaul

    17 Ottobre 2014 at 15:52

    I just remembered something. When The Other Man was released, Lisa Horan of The Novel Approach asked each of the contributors in the book to talk answer this question: “How difficult was it to write your essay, considering the thoughts and feelings involved and the fact you were sharing them with strangers?” Would you like me to post some of the writer’s responses to this question? Or would you just like me to supply the online link here so you could read them all at once?

    I have to go out soon. One of my friends is having a birthday party and I know it’s about 6PM where you are, but I’ll be back in a couple of hours to chat. Ciao, Paolo

  • mindprinterpaul

    17 Ottobre 2014 at 16:08

    Hi, Everyone, I’m going out now but I’ll be back in about two or so hours. Looking forward to talking to you all.

  • Valentina Sunshine Campi

    17 Ottobre 2014 at 16:30

    I read the plot The Other man. It’s very interesting! Ciao! 🙂

    1. mindprinterpaul

      17 Ottobre 2014 at 18:57

      Hi, Valentina. I loved editing The Other Man. Not only did I make friends with a lot of wonderful writers but I learned a lot about the topic and really had fun.

  • mindprinterpaul

    17 Ottobre 2014 at 22:23

    Good night to all. Here’s the link I mentioned. A review of the book and also each contributor’s response about sharing their most personal moments with the reader. Hope you enjoy it. I had a great time as always and hope you’ll ask me back. Hugs and <3 to all.

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